|Little does he know by next week his life will be hell.|
Man, here I was thinking i'd be done writing about hockey for awhile, maybe write something about being a dad then Mike Gillis goes off and does something that shocks most of the hockey world more then seeing that Iron Mike Keenan in Russia documentary on Sportsnet. Luongo finally gets traded for a 3rd string goalie, only months after the Canucks dealt away their other #1 netminder, Cory Schneider. In less than a year, the Canucks have lost 2 starting goalies, their most successful head coach, and the once dominant scoring machine Sedins are both approaching their worst offensive outputs in their careers.
But how does this rate in the Vancouver Canuck all-time list of colossal WTF moments?
Here's my Favourites, in semi-random order.
|They're not happy here. This is a sign of surrender, not victory...|
Only in Vancouver are they able to take a symbol of defeat and rally around it like James Duthie & Friends at the World Juniors tryouts. Historically, waving a white flag is a symbol of surrender. And while it was pretty funny when 'interim' head coach Roger Nielson did it in a playoff game back in 1982 against the Vancouver Canucks, it's kind of WTF that it's lasted this long and Canuck Nation instead takes it as a source of pride that they are so willing to surrender that they hand out free towels before playoff games, just to remind everyone that once, 30 years ago they felt that they were getting the shitty end of the referee whistle and still are.
The Bertuzzi Problem
|Who would have thought a man of my size would cause so much damage to a spinal column?|
The Canucks 1st ever pick; Dale Tallon - It's 1970. Two new NHL teams are welcomed into the league, the Vancouver Canucks and the Buffalo Sabres. To determine 1st pick, a roulette wheel was used (as coins were too controversial and lacked suspense). Buffalo won and picked future Hall of Famer Gilbert Perrault, 1/3 of the relatively famous French Connection Line in the 1970's.
|Dale 'Don't Bother To Unpack' Tallon|
What can you do right? The Canucks did get second pick and they used it to pick Dale Tallon 2nd overall, ahead of 2 other notable Hall of Fame draft picks that year - Darryl Sittler (#8), Billy Smith (#59)
Gilbert Perrault won the Calder Cup his rookie year and wound up playing 17 years with the Buffalo Sabres. He brought immediate respect to the Buffalo franchise, leaving behind final numbers of 512 G 814A and 1326 points. Buffalo made their first trip to the Finals in 1975, losing to the Broad Street Bullies.
Meanwhile, that other guy, Dale Tallon, played three years in Vancouver, 44G 93A for 137 points as a defenceman. Pretty decent numbers and after representing Vancouver 2x at the All-Star Game, they traded him away. So it goes.
And so it began...
|Seriously, we get it. The uniforms sucked.|
|These jerseys were considered an improvement|
|I can't believe I get paid millions to get boo'd.|
Of course, this looked like a great deal as Luongo quickly lived up to the money, leading the Canucks to within one game of the Stanley Cup. But that's not good enough for most Canuck fans (see 1994 Cup Riot for foreshadowing). What most Canuckleheads have quickly forgotten was how active they were in throwing Luongo under the bus as the reason as to why the Canucks ultimately lost to the Boston Bruins and then every game ever after that Luongo starred in. Blaming everything on the Canuck goalie is nothing new in itself as Dan Cloutier, Felix Potvin, Alex Auld, Garth Snow, Arturs Irbe and Kirk McLean would attest.
Firing Alain Vigneault
|Noose feeling a little tight there?|
And to show that if you don't learn from history, you are doomed to repeat it, Mike Gillis went and hired a former NY Ranger coach and noted asshole, John Tortorella who at the time of this writing is doing the same great WTF job that his former NY Ranger coach turned Canuck killer did.
Speaking of former NY Ranger team killers...
The Mike Keenan Implosion
|Keenan directing which way his players should go.|
We all remember how that great experiment turned out - Linden gone after a memorable dressing down by Keenan in which Messier failed to stand up for his fellow Captain and teammate. The team fractured down the lines of Linden vs. Messier. Keenan, in his dual role as GM did 10 separate trades that year, the biggest trading away Linden. Also leaving that year were Gino Odjick, Kirk McLean, and Dave Babych. Pavel Bure sat out most of the next season until he was traded to the Florida Panthers. Keenan was fired less than two years into his dismantling after Brian Burke was brought in to stem the leaking.
Which brings us to He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named.
|Everything about this picture still hurts.|
Back to Mark. He signed on and quickly caused controversy by being given the previously retired #11. It was a sign of foreshadowing that he was handed the C by true team captain Trevor Linden before the season started. It was kind of like The Joker given the keys to Gotham by Batman. It didn't feel right and it wasn't. The Canucks continued to tank, the 'leadership' promised by Messier never blossomed as he spent most of his time on the injured list. He was instrumental in bringing in his own team including Mike Keenan to keep dismantling Linden's team. When he left the Canucks, it was none too soon. To add insult to injury he returned again to the Rangers, his mission fulfilled of completely destroying the Canucks franchise for the next five years. Fans never forgot. Or forgave. And oh yeah, in a complete dick move he successfully sued the Canucks for $6 million in back pay, some kind of contract stipulation/reward based on and increased value of the franchise during his 5 year contract. Important to note here that he left after 3 years but in those final 2 years, when he wasn't on the team and attendance improved he felt it was because of his time there.
He now spends most of his time writing bad poems about the New York Rangers spurning him for AV and editing his Wikipedia page.
But the reason why Mark Messier is only #2 on Ogie's All-Time list of Canuck WTF?
The Wayne Gretzky non-signing
|I seriously doubt this ever happened.|
So fast forward nearly 10 years. Gretzky has done his thing for hockey and for America. He had just played a short stint in St. Louis under Keenan and wanted out (sense a pattern there?). It came down to Toronto or Vancouver. Toronto pulled out due to their famous justification that they were already playing to sold-out crowds with a mediocre team so why should they pay extra money for someone who couldn't actually sell anymore tickets. So it came down that the Great One would most likely finish out his career on the West Coast.
To sum up the story as told by Al Strachan in his book;
Gretzky's agent and Canuck ownership representatives were in an hours long discussion over length and terms of the contract. Gretzky retired to his hotel suite while the bargaining parties went deep into the night. After midnight, Gretzky was contacted to be informed a deal was done, he only had to come over and sign it. Gretzky said he would sign it in the morning. The Canucks said "No, it has to be signed now or no deal."
Gretzky said something to the effect of 'Fuck that. I'm Wayne Gretzky, I said I would sign it in the morning.'
The Canuck tool in charge of the negotiatons repeated he had to sign it NOW so Gretzky told him to go fuck himself (paraphrasing). The next morning Gretzky hopped on a plane and went off to New York.
The Canucks, in full panic mode now settled on the 2nd biggest fish in the market, Mark Messier. All because someone didn't take Wayne Gretzky's word that he would sign a contract in the morning.
|This still would have happened.|
feel free to say your bit in the comments.